The analogy is described that way because there is little you can do about stopping it. Those feelings you listed are part of depression too, it is really underneath an anxiety disorder. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Permission to publish granted by Cynthia W. It can be beneficial to focus on your own needs and self-care, and to reach out for help if you need it such as seeking the support of a counselor or therapist.
If this is a repeated experience for this person, it can be helpful to discuss all of this between episodes so he or she is more prepared when caught in the quicksand.Īs someone who loves a person with depression, it can be emotionally difficult or stressful at times to support that person. It is a time for the person to avoid making decisions, or avoid doing anything significant that requires a nondepressed perspective. They can also gently remind the person that depression causes his or her perspective on everything to change, and he or she is unable to think outside of depression mode at the moment. Loved ones can gently hold and show love and commitment to the depressed person, try not to take on the person’s reality, but also not argue with him or her about it.
Nutrition, acupuncture, and other body-based treatments as well as therapy can help without the side effects of medication. Many people will emerge from major depression in time, though episodes seem to make more episodes more likely, so if medication works to end the episode, it’s usually prudent to take it. I would take a different approach for someone with milder depression, or one that is a response to a terrible loss.įor some people in a major depression, psychotropic medication works and is the only thing that works. The same could be said for electroshock treatment, though it’s not for everyone. So what does a person whose reality has shifted in this way need? Please keep in mind that I am talking about a major depressive episode-severe depression that has lasted more than two weeks. I do believe cognitive therapy has an important place, but generally not in the throes of a major depressive episode. Instead, they and the depressed person are likely to feel frustrated and alienated from one another. When people try to get the person to look on the bright side, be grateful, change his or her thoughts, or meditate, or they minimize or try to disprove the person’s reality, they are very unlikely to succeed. I can’t emphasize enough that when this happens, what I am describing is absolutely the depressed person’s reality. It’s difficult to describe all of this in a way that someone who’s never experienced it can make sense of it. That and being in this state causes the person to feel irredeemably unlovable, and sure everyone has abandoned or will abandon him or her. Anything that ever caused the person to feel shame, guilt, or regret grows to take up most of his or her psychic space. Anything that had given the person a sense of value or self-esteem vanishes. These assets or accomplishments no longer matter, no longer seem genuine, or are overshadowed by negative self-images. There is terrible shame about the actions depression dictates, such as not accomplishing anything or snapping at people. Everything seems meaningless, including previous accomplishments and what had given life meaning. No one seems to understand or care, and people seem insincere. Depression is utterly isolating. People seem far away-on the other side of a glass bubble. The most (normally) pleasant and comforting touch can feel painful to the point of tears. Major depression feels like intense pain that can’t be identified in any particular part of the body. What was challenging feels overwhelming what was sad feels unbearable what felt joyful feels pleasureless-or, at best, a fleeting drop of pleasure in an ocean of pain. Work is boring and unbearable. Any activity takes many times more effort, as if every movement requires displacing quicksand to make it. Suddenly, no one seems loving or lovable. What was challenging feels overwhelming what was sad feels unbearable what felt joyful feels pleasureless.Įven if nothing was wrong before the episode, everything seems wrong when it descends.
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